So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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