quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
