I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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