We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We need a shit load of segways right now
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
