Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
