I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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