weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
