something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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