This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
