So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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