your room smells of hookers.
And success
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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