i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
