Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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