Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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