I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
