I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
