just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
