You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
