I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
