You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
