Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
