you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
