Buhtt sex?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize