honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
