i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
