If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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