I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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