I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize