What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
