I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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