If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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