Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That accounts for only three of the penises
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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