I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
