Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
