I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
