How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
