Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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