Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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