Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize