"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
