yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
