i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
