so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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