SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My vagina is officially offended.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
