you traded sex for a burrito?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
