I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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