You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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