The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize