im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
