Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
