I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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