We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
