facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
