I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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