My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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