Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
