Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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