My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize