I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize