are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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