If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he fucked my hip out of place.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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