Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
