She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
