am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
