i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
